What a difference that would make, if we were finally awake.

"What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing?--
it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-by. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies."
-Jack Kerouac

I'm in a mood lately. I can't pinpoint it and I don't think that it is either good or bad. I'm not eating much, though not on purpose, which is probably affecting me both physically and mentally. I decided today that I will never eat fried clams or huge amounts of onion rings ever again. I'm working 40 hours a week at rec, and averaging a 9 hour shift a week at the Marriott. This weekend I worked concessions for about 5 hours at Summerfest, which was fun other than the abnormally large intake of fried food. Yesterday was nice, though, and I was able to see so many people that I hadn't seen in months. Also, Rustic Overtones. I have a lot of plans coming up that I'm really excited for. Tomorrow JT and Willie's band Sand In Fire is playing a show at The Station with a few other post-rock bands. Also, Bullmoose run and Sorbet with JT this week. Slacklining with Helen and Josh at some point, and Justin is coming to visit as well. He's leaving next week for a month-long bike adventure to Michigan from is home in Massachusetts. I'm going to Jersey for Dan's birthday with a group of people as well, and hopefully I'll be in the Cape visiting friends soon too.

I've been on a huge Kerouac fix lately. Im about 3/4 through On The Road and it makes me want to road trip so badly. I want to get off of the East Coast soon and see the world. I'm more than excited to study abroad and I think that I'm set on doing so in England. Also, I'm still leaning towards spending 2 years in the Peace Corps and then getting my Masters somewhere across the country. I've found myself becoming antsier in public situations, like Summerfest yesterday, almost to the point of becoming manic. I have such highs and lows energy-wise. I fell asleep today after going to the gym and being too sickly to eat dinner, and didn't mean to or realize it until my mom woke me up an hour later. Work+Summer Classes+Training at the gym are eating away at me. I've lost 15 lbs. I miss Vermont. I love Maine and being home and hanging out with my family and friends here. I'm thinking of subletting an apartment in Vermont next summer. Truly fending for myself and spending the summer with some of my best friends. Chelsea and I are thinking about doing a triathlon in Vermont in about a year. It's nice to have a goal to work towards that isn't academically or financially based. For a first entry this is very rambly and my mental exhaustion is proving a point.

I want to read more, write more, seek the beauty in the world around me, and take advantage of every positive thing that comes my way.